


Jump || TreeBros Fanfiction

by SmolWriter



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson (Broadway Cast) RPF
Genre: Attempted Suicide, Car Accident, Connor sort of gets OOC but I can fix it, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Suicide, jkjk it's DEH so there will be angst, might have angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-18
Updated: 2018-03-04
Packaged: 2019-03-20 14:31:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13719687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmolWriter/pseuds/SmolWriter
Summary: Evan Hansen wasn't one to talk, so he never thought he'd get a date. Though, when he loses his feelings for a certain Zoe Murphy and gains feelings for another, Evan finally figures out how he wants to live his life; with Connor Murphy. Though, once Senior High comes to an end, Evan may have to go on with one big regret in his mind.**This Fanfiction is based on the song "Jump" by Laura Shigihara**





	1. "Dear Evan Hansen:"

**Author's Note:**

> This Fic is based on the song "Jump" by Laura Shigihara. It's a cute song, you guys should go listen to it! I'm also sorry, this is my first ever Dear Evan Hansen fanfiction, so I'm sorry if it's bad. I'm gonna split this up into a few chapters, just so I can get through some things easier and organize it. Anyway, hope you enjoy!
> 
> I also probably should've edited and revised... oh well.

* * *

 

 

     Evan Hansen wasn't one to talk. His anxiety always stopped him from doing so, so... he stayed silent, staying in the background where no one could judge him. It was comforting -- not having anyone judge you. To have this fake "you" that people would like if they noticed. But no one ever did notice Evan. He was always on the outside. It was only during Senior Year that Evan realized that he wanted to be seen. But, after years of forcing himself to be invisible, Evan didn't think he would be seen for a long time. Really, he didn't expect anyone to be waving at him through the small window of society he could see through. 

 

 

> **Underneath The Big Dipper, We Gathered Stars. We Took Off Both Our Slippers...**

 

Evan was in the computer lab at school, typing away on his laptop. He sighed; he had to write that it was a good day. It  _wasn't_ a good day. Why should Evan lie to himself about that? So, he started his letter as he normally would, but with a little twist to it. 

 

      _"Dear Evan Hansen: Today wasn't a good day, nor will it be a good month or year... it's just going to end horribly. Let's face it, if I  just suddenly disappeared from the face of the earth, would anyone notice? I'm invisible from the rest of the world, and I don't expect any of that to change. Is there any point to living anymore? I'm just a burden to my mom. A burden to everyone. Except for Zoe. Well... maybe. She doesn't even know me all that well, nor do I know her, so does she really count? I haven't even tried talking to her... god, I'm such a loser._

 

_Sincerely, your only and most dearest friend, me."_

 

     Evan sighed again, hesitantly pressing the print button on his document. In reality, Evan didn't even know anything about Zoe. Just the few things about her personality; she played guitar in jazz band, scribbled stars on the cuffs of her jeans when she was bored, and that she filled out the quizzes in the back of teen magazines. He didn't even know if he truly  _liked_ Zoe! For all Evan knew, it could've just been a big lie as a desperate need to be with someone. A lie he made to himself for four years. Evan rested his head on the table in front of him, wanting to shrink away from the world. He already tried however, and obviously he was alive. Evan didn't know whether he wanted to  _be_ alive or not in the first place. Those thoughts were all mixed in his mind. And while Evan was drowning in his thoughts, a taller teenage boy had walked into the computer lab, finding Evan's little assignment. 

 

 

> **And Sank Into the Water.**

 

     "Hey." A voice drew Evan right out of his thoughts, the blonde flinching and stumbling to his feet. To his right, there was a teenager that was roughly around his age, his brown hair reaching down to his shoulders. The taller teenager had to laugh a bit at Evan's jumpy self, though there wasn't exactly a smile on his face. As soon as Evan got a glimpse at the teenager, he knew who it was.

 

      _Connor Murphy._

 

     "O-Oh! Um... hi." Evan stammered, Connor awkwardly standing in spot. He honestly hadn't expected Evan to speak to him. No one ever did, or if they  _did_ speak to him, it was normally out of fear or if they were dealing him his drugs. 

 

     "What, um... what happened to your arm?" Connor tilted his head, gesturing towards Evan's cast with one hand. Evan glanced down to his own arm, stammering a bit to try to get words out. He looked back up after a bit, though his gaze wasn't directly towards Connor.

 

     "I-I um... I fell o-out of a tree, actually." Evan replied simply, stammering again.

 

     "You fell out of a tree?" Connor spoke up, Evan simply giving a nod. Sure, that was a bit rude to ask, but Connor couldn't really tell right from wrong. Though he wanted to show pity, Connor ended up laughing, internally regretting the next words that came out of his mouth. 'Well. That is just the saddest fucking thing I've ever heard."

 

     "Y-Yeah, I know...  I know," Evan laughed nervously, dragging his foot along the ground in little circles. 

 

 

> **Then We Swam Beneath That Bridge, We Met a Man Who Sold Us What We Needed...**

 

     Connor continued to laugh for a while longer before looking back down at Evan's cast. In reality, he had expected someone that was as nice as Evan had seemed to have some friends -- or at least, have people who would sign his cast. To his surprise however, Evan's cast was completely blank. The two were quiet now before Connor decided to speak up once again, the pitiful tone in his voice catching Evan off guard. "Hey... no one's signed your cast, huh?"

 

     "What? Oh... n-no, I know..."

 

     "...I'll sign it." Connor offered, giving Evan a light smile. Evan had attempted to decline the offer, pausing in his words mid-way when Connor had asked if he had a sharpie. Evan nodded reluctantly, finding his sharpie in his pocket before Connor took a step forward, taking the sharpie and grabbing Evan's arm. Connor assumed he grabbed Evan's arm in a painful way from the little squeak the blonde gave, though kept his gaze on Evan's cast, scribbling his name in big letters on the cast.

 

     Once Connor was done, Evan pulled his arm back slightly, Connor giving him the sharpie back as Evan murmured a small thanks. At that, Connor just smiled a little bit more. "Well, now we can both pretend we have friends, huh?" To Connor's surprise, Evan laughed nervously and gave a nod in agreement. The two had looked each other directly in the eyes for the first time ever, seeming to genuinely smile at each other. Soon enough, they pulled their gaze away from each other, Connor pulling out a piece of paper from his messenger-bag.

 

 

> **He Gave Us Directions.**

 

     "Also, um... is this yours? I found it at the printer. 'Dear Evan Hansen.' Hansen. That's your name, right?" Connor asked, Evan's face reddening from embarrassment. 

 

     "Oh- y-yeah, that was just a dumb assignment I had to do-"

 

     "'Except for Zoe.'" Connor read aloud, his own expression growing from a slightly happy one to an irritated one. "...Is this about my sister?" Before Evan could even speak, Connor scowled, starting to wrinkle the paper in his hand. "You wrote this so I would see, didn't you? You're  _just_ like everyone else, aren't you? You want to make me break and start acting out so you can call me out, huh?"

 

     "W-What?" Evan breathed out, taking a slight step back. "No! No, I would never do that- please, please, I n-need that back-"

 

     "You think I'm a  _freak_ don't you?!?" Connor growled, Evan protesting over and over again, trying to counter what Connor was telling him. "You're trying to write some creepy  _shit_ about my sister so I'd freak out, right?!?"

 

     "No, no! Please listen to me!" Evan begged, tears welling up in his eyes from fear. Connor growled again, glaring at Evan. He wasn't listening. He wouldn't listen. Evan was just like everyone else! Hell, he probably hated him just as everyone else did!

 

 

> **And We Swim, and We Fall...**

 

     Evan continued to protest, repeating himself over and over. "I  _don't_ hate you! Please, just give me that back! I-I need it, I need it!"

 

     Connor looked down at the letter, deciding to read the note aloud while he started walking out of the computer lab. Evan's heart started to quicken, the blonde chasing after Connor. No, no, no! He couldn't have Connor giving that note out to everyone!! He'd be a laughing stock! As Connor got out of the computer lab, he stopped reading at one of the few sentences that actually got his attention.  _"Is there any point to living anymore?"_

 

     Connor froze in his tracks, staring down at the note with a changed expression. Maybe... maybe Evan wasn't like the others. Maybe he was like  _him_ , just... took a different path. If Evan was someone who thought he was better off dead, they weren't so different after all. Could Connor make a friend? No, what was he thinking? No one would be friends with him. Connor came to the computer lab to try and make friends with Evan, but he'd totally scared the poor guy off, so there was no use to trying to make amends. And, now that Connor was stuck in his thoughts, Evan was able to catch up with him, grabbing Connor's hand.

 

 

> **Hold My Hand, Through It All...**

 

     Evan grabbed the paper without any second thoughts, though because of how Connor was holding it, Evan ended up cutting Connor with the paper. The brunette winced slightly, puling his hand away as a reflex as Evan's eyes widened, looking at the stained-edge letter before looking to Connor. "S-Sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't m-mean to-"

 

     "It's fine." Connor replied emotionlessly, staring down at his hand that began to stain red. "It... doesn't hurt." He added quietly, Evan staring at him for a while longer. At first, his eyes were full of fear, but now... well, Evan had to feel a bit bad. As Evan was about to speak up, Connor had taken the liberty of speaking, looking at Evan. "Your letter. It... you talked about thinking there was no point to living."

 

     Evan bit his lip nervously, scrunching up his paper. "U-Um... yeah. W-Why...?"

 

     "Did you... ever find something to live for?" Connor asked all of a sudden, his voice being soft. However, those words cut through Evan as easily as his paper did with Connor's hand. When Connor didn't get an answer, he had just laughed softly, having a sad tone to it. Not waiting any longer for a reply, he wiped his bloody hand on his black denim jacket, holding the strap of his bag as he began walking off, glancing towards Evan as he spoke.

 

 

> **"If We Jump Into The Water, Do We Swim Or Do We Drown?"**

 

     Evan tilted his head, not seeming to understand what Connor was saying. Connor didn't really seem to mind, continuing his little speech before walking out of the school grounds, leaving Evan alone in the middle of the school hallways.

 

 

> **"If We Build a Set of Wings, Then Could We Fly, Or Just Fall Down?"**

 

     Connor didn't mind that Evan didn't understand what he said, just walking off without anything else to say. He got home within half an hour, though he didn't speak to anyone in the house. Either way, he went unseen. So, Connor went straight to the bathroom, finding a thin pin to lock pick the medicine cabinet with before taking a certain bottle of capsule pills, walking back out of the house without a trace. He made his way into a nice looking park, staring out into the sunset. It really was a nice view.

 

     Tears started to fall down Connor's cheek, his breaths shaking. Connor wanted to end his life, yes, but he was still scared too. All humans were, it was natural. Though, it wasn't the fear that was making Connor cry; it was the thought of the little blonde he had spoke too just a few hours ago. Evan Hansen. That boy must have had a great home life. Better than anything Connor would've had at least. Connor was a ticking time bomb that would hurt anyone as soon as he exploded, and after he exploded enough times, he was broken. And this was his passing limit. Taking a deep breath, Connor stared back out into the view of the park, absentmindedly opening the pill bottle as he kept his gaze to the sky. No one seemed to be in the park, except for one person out in the distance. It made sense however, this park was near a few buildings.

 

     Connor didn't really mind if one or two people were in the view, knowing they wouldn't care for a stranger. He held onto the bottle tightly before swallowing a bunch of them, letting a few tears roll down his cheek as he felt his whole body go numb. It was a scary feeling yes, but Connor didn't mind it. With his vision blurring, Connor was left to lean back against the tree he was sitting under, his eyes slowly closing. After he closed them, Connor knew he wouldn't wake up. And frankly, he was okay with that. As Connor was about to let himself drift off into a never ending sleep, Connor forced himself to keep his eyes open for a while, hearing an echoed voice of a person as he saw a blurry figure running towards him. The voice sounded familiar to him, almost soothing in a way. He tried to get them to stop taking their phone out of their pockets, though Connor was feeling too weak to do so.

 

 

> **And If You Keep Talking To Me,**

 

     With his eyes shutting, Connor tried once again to let himself fall into the darkness, though a voice kept calling out to him. Though Connor didn't want to listen, he aimlessly tried to keep himself awake for them. Who the person was, Connor didn't know. But, he sure as hell didn't want to die before knowing. Connor could feel the person's body close to them, the warmth being quite comforting. Their voice continued to speak, stammering over and over again as they begged him to stay awake and stay alive.

 

     Connor obeyed, staying awake as long as he could. Though soon enough, his consciousness failed him, for once, Connor becoming terrified to never wake.

 

 

> **Through This Darkness, Through This Night...**

 

     After what felt like a few minutes to Connor, he woke up with a start, his head feeling as though it had been hit with a brick. Connor looked around slightly, only realizing that he was in a hospital when he heard a quick-paced beeping of a heart monitor. The heart monitor only began to pace itself more and more as Connor became more aware. His suicide attempt failed. He failed at dying, he couldn't kill himself properly. Connor failed. 

 

     Connor sat up, hugging his knees as he started to cry. Of course his parents didn't care -- they weren't even  _there_. So, Connor was alone, possibly receiving a lecture from his mother as soon as he got out of the crummy hospital room. Though, to Connor's luck, his assumption was wrong. He felt the bed shift a bit as someone sat on the edge, Connor sniffling as he refused to look up. Maybe that was his mom, or Zoe. Or a nurse. 

 

     "Hey... i-it's going to be okay... p-please don't cry..." A voice spoke to Connor softly, Connor flinching slightly. He recognized that voice in the park. And now that Connor thought about it... he recognized that stammer from school as well. Soon enough, Connor lifted his head to look up, a familiar blonde sitting at the edge of the bed beside him. Once he saw the blue polo, Connor knew exactly who was in front of him, and Connor couldn't believe it. He wasn't saved by a stranger. He was saved by _Evan Hansen_. 

 

 

> **I'll Be Alright.**

 

* * *

 


	2. Hospital Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor wakes up in the hospital after his failed attempted, vaguely remembering what had happened. What happens when Connor finally warms up to Evan's presence?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This part of the fanfiction isn't relevant to the song just so I could add more plot to it without intervening. So, the next part will have the rest of the song! Also I'm sorry for this chapter taking so long, I thought the original draft deleted itself and I got too lazy to try and make a new one. I found out it didn't get deleted sooo, I'm just gonna finish it aha. And I know this is like, two/three months or more off track- I’m sorry!  
> Also WOW THIS IS SHORT!

* * *

     "Hey... i-it's going to be okay... p-please don't cry..." Evan murmured in a comforting tone, sitting next to Connor. He had noticed the expression the brunette had, deciding to back off as slight panic carried through his mind. Oh god, Connor was going to hate him, right? He obviously wanted to die, and Evan stopped him, and Connor's going to yell at him and-

 

     "Why...?" Connor breathed out, Evan seeming confused by his quiet question. Connor then continued, his expression softening from the confused and angered one to an almost sad expression. "Why did you... let me live? Why couldn't you let me die, Hansen?"

 

     Evan felt a bit hurt by the sadness in Connor's tone. Biting his lip, the blonde fell quiet, thinking of something to say. Normally, Evan had nothing to say at all, but... he had to speak up. For Connor's sake. "Because... I didn't want you to die." Evan finally spoke, his voice soft, though, it quickly started to break as if he was about to cry. "No one deserves to disappear like that, Connor. N-No one... no one should have to go through something like that. W... Whether you're a bully, or a freak."

 

     Connor almost seemed to get offended before Evan continued.

 

     "Because... Because I-I been through that. And I don't... I don't want anyone else to have to suffer through that pain. T-That pain of being alone... of wanting to disappear..." Evan's voice wavered, eventally quieting down, small little sniffles escaping Evan. Connor watched him for a moment, frowning quietly as he looked back at Evan. He no longer felt angry. Just... pitiful. 

 

     "Is that how you...?" Connor paused, not wanting to finish the sentence for Evan's sake. So Evan didn't break his arm because he "fell out of a tree". Evan broke his arm because he  _let go_ of the branch. Maybe him and Evan weren't so different after all. Maybe... they could actually  _be_ friends. The thought crossed Connor's mind as quickly as the thought about Evan's letter came, and his thoughts instantly went from sweet to bitter. No, they couldn't be friends. Connor wouldn't become friends with someone who had a massive crush on _Zoe._ He wouldn't become friends with that little freak of nature. But then, looking at Evan... he didn't seem so bad. After all, Evan seemed to care enough for Connor that he would go out of his way and call the hospital to save his life. The life Connor thought he didn't deserve. 

 

     Evan's face went pale as he bit his lip, putting his good hand on top of his cast. "That- that doesn't matter," he stammered, lowering his head, "p-please. D-don't... don't make this about me." Evan murmured quietly, tears pricking at the side of his eyes. Evan wasn't going to admit why he broke his arm- what did he have to admit after all?!? He broke his arm  _falling_ off the tree. He didn't let go. He fell. He fell, and that's all. Evan  _fell_.

 

     Connor watched Evan quietly, frowning once more. He noticed the expression the blonde had on his face, biting his lip. 

 

     “I-I know that expression,” Evan snapped, causing a small flinch from Connor. He’d never heard Evan talk so harshly. _Well... talk at all, really,_  Connor thought to himself before Evan continued. “A-And no. Nothing happened. I was just.. c-climbing a 40-foot tall oak tree and the.. the- the branch underneath me broke. That’s all.”

 

     Before Connor could even process his thoughts, he spoke out loud. “Why were you climbing a 40-foot tall oak tree in the first place?” He asked, his eyes going wide as he covered his mouth.  _Shit, I screwed up! The one person who might have been willing to be around me is going to want to leave-_

 

     “I-I um... that’s a valid question. I- I uhm...” Evan stammered out, tears visibly beginning to form at the side of his eyes. What was he supposed to say? The truth or the lie? He preferred the lie... no one would’ve cared if he disappeared. “...L-Look, I just fell, okay?? Don’t talk about it- I-I’m here to make sure you’re okay, not if I’m okay! I-I don’t matter to anyone, so don’t try to pretend I do!”

 

     “Hansen, I um...” Connor bit his lip, trying to find the words to say. “...Okay. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to... set you off on a touchy topic.”

 

     Evan sniffles, wiping at his eyes. He shrugged, glancing off to the side as he fell silent. Connor was onto him on his lie. He could just feel it. “It’s... it’s okay, I’m... I-I’m sorry for yelling.”

 

     "...No, don't apologize, Hansen. Seriously, it's my fault."

 

     "Sorry..." Evan murmured quietly, Connor wanting to speak, though he refrained from doing so. He assumed Evan just had some sort of habit with apologizing, and he didn't want to make anything worse. After a few quiet minutes, Evan spoke up again. "H-Hey, um... I know this is probably a bit of a long shot to ask, but... d-do you maybe want to... b-be friends...?"

 

     Connor was quiet for a long while, seeming shocked. "...You want... to be friends... with me?"

 

     "I-I mean, if you don't want to be friends that's fine!-" Evan answered quickly. "I-It was just a suggestion! I just... I-I just thought we both would need a friend... b-because I know we're both outcasts in this place..."

 

     "Hansen- uh... Evan." Connor corrected himself, getting Evan's attention. For once, he allowed himself to smile, which warmed Evan's heart a bit. What made Evan really get excited was his next few words. He couldn't believe what he was hearing- was he actually going to have someone around for once in his life?

 

**"...I'd like to be friends with you, yeah."**


End file.
